I hate to buy clothes to begin with, because every time I try on a pair of pants they seem to be a little tight, but you’d think socks would be easier.

I always have a tough time choosing socks. First of all, I hate the ones that have the big stitching where the toes go, because they rub my feet and make them sore. When our youngest was little he used to say he didn’t want “socks with lines,” and I knew exactly what he meant. Only thing is, it’s tough to see if the socks have “lines” when they’re in the bag. I must admit I’ve punctured the bag in the store at times to see if the socks inside were “lined.” Of course, if they weren’t I would purchase that item. If they were, well. . . .

And then you have to find the right size. Most places have bags of socks that say they fit “sizes six to 12.” What’s the deal with that? Did you ever buy a pair of shoes that fit sizes six to 12?

And then you have to find the right size. Most places have bags of socks that say they fit “sizes six to 12.” What’s the deal with that? Did you ever buy a pair of shoes that fit sizes six to 12?

Did you ever see pants that said they fit “sizes 28 to 40?” Well, they might all fit size 28, at least with a belt, but if you’re a size 40 you aren’t getting in those pants. Believe me, I know.

Back to the socks, my feet are size 11 to 11 ½, so I’m on the upper end of the “six to 12.” I’ve bought those socks before and when I get them home and try them on they’re uncomfortably tight on my feet, and now I’m stuck with six pairs of these things. You really can’t take socks back at that point.

Well, the next time I buy the larger size, and now the heel of the sock is halfway up my Achilles tendon. That’s okay if the sock is all one color, but sometimes the socks have gray patches on the heel and toe and now you’re walking around with that gray patch sticking out the back, and everyone looks at you like you’re wearing socks that are too big. And, of course, you are, but it’s better than the ones that are too small.

I imagine there are socks at the higher end stores that are a little more precise than the ones I’m getting at Wal-Mart, but the way I go through socks I can’t see spending the extra money. I have this genetic dysfunction where my big toes seem to poke up some when I walk and make holes in the sock. Happens pretty often.

I can’t stand to walk around with holes in my socks, and my mother is no longer with us to mend them, so I throw them out or tie them in a ball for the pets to play with. In fact, do people actually mend socks anymore? When I was growing up my “Pennsylvania Dutch thrifty” parents would not only mend socks, but resole my shoes when they would wear out. I can remember them examining the shoes to see if the tops merited another round of soles, and more often than not the answer would be yes.

Maybe someone will read this and scale down the bags of socks to sizes “Six to nine” and “10 to 12.” We’re not all the same size, you know.

Anyone remember when Jim Ignatowski borrowed a tie and was excited that he wore the same size as the guy he borrowed it from? If you don’t know what I’m talking about Google “Jim Ignatowski” and you’re sure to get some laughs.