Brian Hoffman Column – July 27th, 2017

WHO’S OVERPAID?

James Harden of the Houston Rockets signed a huge contract to play basketball next year. His 2017-18 salary will be $28,299,399.00 according to the hoopshype.com web site.

Harden’s total package was a record, but LeBron James will be making more for one season, as he’s listed at $33,285,709.00 That’s just to play basketball, of course, and that doesn’t count all the endorsements these players get.

Outrageous? Possibly, but I’m sure these NBA clubs wouldn’t be paying them that kind of money if they weren’t worth it. Plus, I’m not sure you could even put a dollar figure on what LeBron James is worth to not only the Cavaliers, but the city of Cleveland.

With that in mind, it caught my interest to see a list of some of the highest paid entertainers in a recent newspaper article. Going down the list, some of them are making a lot more money than the athletes, and I wonder if they’re any more worthy?

For example, did you know “Dr. Phil” McGraw makes $79 million dollars a year? I’ve seen his show and I think I could do that. People complain about problems and he gives them lame advice. Not that tough.

I’m sure my doctor, Delmas Bolin, makes a lot less money and he could do the same thing. He’s a brilliant doctor and he’s a funny guy. I’d much rather watch him than Dr. Phil.

While Dr. Bolin could fill in for Dr. Phil, I know he couldn’t do the things LeBron James can do on a basketball court. And, Dr. Bolin couldn’t pack an arena every night with fans paying big money prices for seats. But he could fill in for Phil.

Also high on the list was Judith Sheindlin, or “Judge Judy.” She brings in $47 million every year to get on TV and berate idiots who are trying to sue friends and family for a couple hundred dollars. Don’t tell me the Honorable Chris Clemens of Salem couldn’t do the same thing, and he’s even funny. Chris spoke at the investiture for Judge Scott Geddes in the spring and he had ‘em rolling the floor laughing.

And again, while Chris could fill in for Judge Judy on a minute’s notice, there’s no way he could beat Rory McIroy on the golf course. Last year McIlroy won 16 million playing professional golf, or about 31 million less than Judy made on TV for calling idiots what they are.

Then you have personality chef Gordon Ramsey, who pulled down $60 million last year. What does he have on our own Joe Dishaw at Mac & Bob’s? Joe studied at the CIA, and that’s the Culinary Institute of America, not the spies who Donald Trump is feuding with. I’m sure Ramsey’s a good cook, but can he make a Salem salad like Joe?

I can go down the list. Ellen DeGeneres, at $77 million a year, is making $30 million more than Andrew Luck. What kind of pass can she make? We’ll leave well enough alone there.

Here’s a couple of my favorites. Ryan Seacrest is making $58 million a year. For years I’d watch American Idol with my wife and point out that this guy was stealing money. He doesn’t really do anything but cash checks, and he’s making more money than Dale, Jr. and Jimmy Johnson combined, who put their lives on the line every weekend.

Kim Kardashian West is pulling down $45 million a year, and what does she do? She’s married to a “singer” I don’t care for, but what else does she do? She’s a “personality,” which is another way of saying she gets paid for being “hot.” Nice work if you can get it.

Sure, the numbers might jump out at you when these professional athletes sign the big contracts, but they’re doing something few can do and many will pay to watch. School teachers claim to be underpaid, and certainly they have a very important place in society. However, if people paid $500 to sit at the back of the class and watch them teach they’d make a lot more money. And when is the last time you saw a “Math Class” jersey for sale?

If I could back and do it over again I’d want to be like Ryan Seacrest. What do you study in school to get that job?

FIRST AND 13

University of Miami football coach Mark Richt is a good football coach, but apparently not so good at ciphering.

Richt was being interviewed on ESPN radio the other day and lamenting about his team losing the close games last year. He commented, “We could have been 11-1 if we had won all our close games, but instead we were 9-4.”

STORY ABOUT A COUPLE OF MUGS

Here’s a good story for the folks from Craig County.

I was in Pennsylvania last weekend to visit my dad and take my wife and grandsons to a Phillies game. We always like to scour the local Goodwill Stores to try and find some bargains. There’s a big Goodwill Store in Montgomeryville, PA, about 30 miles north of Philadelphia, and I was able to pick up a 76ers hoodie for cheap while my oldest grandson got a “never worn” 76ers Elton Brand jersey, with the tags still on it, for six bucks!!

If you’ve been to a Goodwill Store you know they have lots of toys and used furniture and outdated appliances and dishes and stuff like that. I always enjoy looking through the stuff, trying to find a bargain. I always check out the mugs and drinking glasses because they often have writing on them from some college, sports team or special occasion. I have a cabinet full of mugs from things like the Tylersport Fire Station or Lehigh Valley Ironpigs baseball team.

As I was checking out the mugs at this store, I came across something especially unusual. There were two mugs, for 97 cents each, with “Craig County, Virginia,” and a drawing of the courthouse with “1851” underneath. In case you didn’t know, Craig County was created in March of 1851 from Botetourt, Giles, Roanoke and Monroe (West Virginia) Counties and New Castle was named the county seat.

My question is, how the heck did this mug get from New Castle to the Montgomeryville, PA Goodwill Store? The whole county only has about 6,000 people and it’s 400 miles away from Montgomeryville.

I quickly snatched up the two mugs before some other Craig County fan spotted them. I paid for them along with my Sixers hoodie, my grandson’s Elton Brand jersey and several other items I got on the cheap, including a Buffalo Bills mug for another 97 cents.

If you’re reading this column and you have a mug like this, do me a favor. Give me a call or e-mail and let me know where you got it. Was it for some kind of special occasion?

My e-mail is [email protected]. Hoping to hear from someone who has a mug like this.